I am in no mood to listen to that right now. I turn it off, swiping the button angrily with my finger. It is the sort of voice I’d noticed more and more over these past few months that insidious media voice, the one with the gift for expressing opinion as fact, half-truth as perceived knowledge. The Prime Minister assures Tory MPs that he will cut public spending in Scotland, a monotone voice bleats forth from the radio. If only I’d let the passion remain political, then perhaps I wouldn’t be in the mess I’m in now.
For months I lived on the cusp of destiny I lapped it up, unable to satiate my thirst. It was a wonderful, addictive thing, to feel so enlivened, so empowered. And sure as fire is fire, it ignited me, filled me with a passion I had never felt before. The referendum, or the referendum on Scottish independence, to call it by its proper name, was more the catalyst, the match which lit the touch paper I call my life. Of course, I realise that it wasn’t really the referendum’s fault. It hit me so hard that it took my breath away. Then I saw him and all of a sudden it hit me, like the proverbial ton of bricks. No, at first I allowed the copious amounts of alcohol and cigarettes – yes, that old habit reared its ugly head from the graveyard of my youth – to numb me, to help me feel nothing, to help me forget how much it hurt.
Initially, I couldn’t see how bad I’d allowed things to become, how much of a mess I’d made of everything. The day after the referendum, my life fell apart. I would also like to thank my beta readers Michael Brown, K.J Farnham, David King, Pauline Clark, Alexandra King and Elaine Macarthur for their time, enthusiasm and invaluable feedback. Change requires bravery and I could not have done it without them. This book represents something of a change in direction for me a story which (literally) started out as a dream and grew into a big idea, leading me into uncharted territory, creatively and stylistically. My heartfelt thanks must go to my husband, David, and our two children for all their love and support during the writing of this novel.
0 kommentar(er)
